Merely owning this book will make you sexier. This book will teach you how to have thunderous, crashing orgasms, the kind you’d never learn to have without it. Don’t you want to be more sensuous? Don’t you want members of the opposite sex to like you? Realize that you will be inadequate both as a lover and a human being if you don’t read this book.

To heighten your reading pleasure and facilitate your comprehension, this oversized, jaunty, and highly colorful compendium is split into four sections:

FAKE: Learn all about the nonexistent realities of home breast-implant kits, adult films made by children, penis sizes of world religious figures, a man who uses Photoshop to give himself a bigger sex organ, a strip club where all the dancers are victims of shark bites, and a support group for strippers who were never abused.

REAL: Dive into the frightening worlds of rectal foreign bodies, dirty words in other languages, vaginal flatulence, strange sex laws, homosexuality in the animal kingdom, biological sex freaks, and molestation by nuns.

PERSONAL: Watch as the author fearlessly reminisces about his one-night stands, sex with mature women, cheating, and female ejaculation. Enjoy forbidden thrills as he test-drives Viagra, has sex with other men’s women, explores his prostate gland, reveals his sexual crush on himself, and takes pictures of his penis.

OPINION: Wherein the writer reveals his precious feelings about bestiality, prostitution, handjobs, obscene phone calls, catfights, shower nozzles, sluts, malodorous vaginas, infantile breast fixations, and whether or not Jesus had wet dreams. Marvel as he systematically crushes the idiocy of “sex-positive” writing.

Jim Goad has contributed to PlayboyPenthouseHustlerBizarreNew York PressSan Francisco Bay Guardian, and VICE. His controversial writing and life have been profiled in The New York TimesTIMEVillage Voice, andSpin. He lives in Georgia.

“Jim Goad doesn’t pull his punches. Brutally honest without worrying about being correct.”
—Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club

“Jim Goad is an amazing writer.”
—Margaret Cho, Salon.com

The author of the notorious ‘zine ANSWER Me!Shit Magnet (Feral House), and the best-selling Redneck Manifesto (Simon & Schuster) lampoons every imaginable aspect of human sexuality in 224 hilarious, illustrated, full-color, R-rated pages.